When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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