wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize