Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize