Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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