Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
God, I missed his penis.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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