This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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