there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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