i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
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He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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