There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize