The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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