I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
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So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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