Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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