I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She bit a glass in half.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Randomize