I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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