i just wanna soil my oats bro
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
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her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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