lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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