the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
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The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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