Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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