She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
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I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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