I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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