i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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