im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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