I hate your face
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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