me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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