dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize