Texts From Last Night

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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Say something about gay babies.

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  (605): Say something about gay babies. http://tfl.nu/ehqd
  Replies (15) Good night (1086) Bad night (1483) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  a queef is a wish your heart makes.

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  (443): a queef is a wish your heart makes. http://tfl.nu/o0oa
  Replies (20) Good night (1161) Bad night (3084) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night

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  (760): I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night http://tfl.nu/kc6c
  Replies (14) Good night (3942) Bad night (550) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

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  (512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w
  Replies (22) Good night (4391) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
  Replies (38) Good night (4872) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Colt 45 out of anything is classy.

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  (704): I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy. (919): Colt 45 out of anything is classy. http://tfl.nu/9zxf
  Replies (17) Good night (4423) Bad night (741)
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  (845): View more from New York

  so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

  (845): View more from New York

  i guess it runs in the family.

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  (845): so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date (845): i guess it runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/gfn4
  Replies (6) Good night (5200) Bad night (837)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy

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  (937): She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy http://tfl.nu/3zlc
  Replies (9) Good night (1060) Bad night (2845) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"

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  (419): apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty" http://tfl.nu/fxst
  Replies (4) Good night (2428) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.

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  (928): He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner. http://tfl.nu/dvnd
  Replies (13) Good night (4190) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes

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  (303): idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes http://tfl.nu/2i45
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Anderson Cooper just came out.

  (212): View more from New York

  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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  (917): Anderson Cooper just came out. (212): Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor. http://tfl.nu/cxy2
  Replies (5) Good night (1432) Bad night (801)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.

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  (336): I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman. http://tfl.nu/r3qg
  Replies (2) Good night (671) Bad night (230)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.

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  (401): He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached. http://tfl.nu/uw2g
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.

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  (334): I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system. http://tfl.nu/d0ap
  Replies (1) Good night (446) Bad night (153)

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