i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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