is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize