thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
soo... how was my night?
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