Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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