I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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