My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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