Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize