There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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