Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize