Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize