Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
FUCK WHALES
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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