OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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