either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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