i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
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Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
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Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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