I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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