He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
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A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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