throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize