Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize