yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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