David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
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Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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