I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize