I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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