I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize