I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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